Fenedor's first steps in Mando'a

Anything you've written in Mando'a can go in here to receive discussion and evaluation from other members. Stories, songs, poetry, cookbooks...
Fenedor
Verd
Posts: 8
Joined: 15 Mar 2014 16:29
Location: Germany

Fenedor's first steps in Mando'a

Unread post by Fenedor » 17 Mar 2014 15:53

Su'cuy.
I tried to write a little bit in Mando'a and now i hope that you can help me to improve it.

This is a short text/crossover about/between two of my favorite things: BattleTech and Mando'a.
I would be glad to get feedback and constructive criticism.


"Ner gai cuy Fenedor, alor'ad o'r te akaan'ade be aliit Steiner be te Inner Sphere.
Ni verd be te Tamar Jäger akaata chur alor Kelswa. Ni ganar te ke'gyce jaon she'eta verde.
Mhi akaanir o’r ori bes'uliik ti te gai BattleMech.
Ner me'sen ru olaror, wer'cuy, o'r ibic oyu'baat adol karbakar'nibral. Ni ru rusu bat te me'suum Tamar bal ru to te akaan'ade iviin'yc.
Ti gaa'taylir be te Resol'nare, ni ru tengaana te aruetiise bah akaanir as jate as veman Mando'ade.
Ni vercopaani bah tengaanar te aruetiise te goyust be manda ures drashaa dar'manda."

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