- Chotav cuyi oyacy, par dral ganar staabi ke’gyce.
Not sure what you meant by chotav
is street? Ganar
shouldn't be infinitive.
- Ijaat cuyi oyacy, par ti n’ijaat solus Vercopa cuyir kyr’am.
Don't capitalize vercopa
- Verburyc cuyi oyacy, par ures gar alit solus gana nunarser.
Dont use both gar
. Pick one. Vlet's choice of verbur
is a good choice for loyalty.
- Kyr’am cuyi oyacy, solus linibala ramaanar as val ru’oyacyi.
I dont like linibala
, personally. Id stay away from turning verbs into adjectives. Just liniba
works. Don't mix solus
. I dont see the need for the ru'
. But that's my style. There's nothing grammatically wrong with it.
A few little things grammar-wise. A Mando would understand you.
- Kote cuy oya'cye, par te kotyc juri buirkan at ke'gyce.Kote
is glory, kot
is strength. Te
is almost always dropped, but thats style not grammar. At
is directional. Bah
is what you're looking for.
- Ijaat cuy oya'cye, par ures ijaat solus juaan kyrayc.
This sounds a bit odd. Again, style.
- Verbur cuy oya'cye, par ures aliit, solus nu'gana narser.
Good pick for loyalty.
- Kyr'am cuy oya'cye, par an'ade entey ramaanar sa val oyayc.
Keep the o
at the end of entey
Overall, good translation.
Vlet Hansen wrote:The thing I've noted with translations is Mando'a is a very open language. If you look at the Canon songs, they're written in a very poetic, metaphorical manner. With this, I feel like the differences in people's translations serve more to show their particular opinion on ideas, rather than one being more correct than another.
Exactly. In Mando'a, five people will probably come up with five translations.
Sometimes I wish KT would have given us more canonical translations for that reason.